At this point swag is a kind of like
chicken pox. Everyone above the age of ten has already had it. Fabolous left
his on the corner. Kanye got it first. Jay-Z can’t teach it to you. T.I got his
from his dad and Kwesta bought some at the local Mr Price.
This concept has swept across the world and captured the
egos of more people than Generations’ viewers; now begging for a new
definition. At the risk of being burnt by teenagers in skinny jeans and plastic
shoes, I’ll exercise some subtlety as I attempt to give new meaning to this
pandemic phenomenon. Okay, I lied. ’Why?’ This question is more
relevant now than during any other time in the history of civilisation, due to
a disturbing practice by pseudo-swagger enthusiasts who’ve chosen to
abandon things from the sole purpose for which they were created.
Blasphemy in the name of swag: more and more
people are beginning to wear shades in movie theaters. Luminous pants
so tight and body-hugging that they provide competition for Superman are
also aptly titled swag. These are supplemented with belts,
music-less headphones and chinchilla coats in the mid-summer heat! Let it be
said now that the term ‘dripping swag‘ does not refer to the excess gel
that drips from the sides of many over-lubricated eccentric hairstyles that are
so common these days.
Swag cannot be conditioned. There is no swag in
having more kids than brain cells before you turn 18. You cannot find it on BBM
and it’s not a competition for who has the most Ama Kip Kip t-shirts or who
wears the most ice. It’s also not synonymous with materialism and cannot be
equated to ignorance. Neither is it a substitute for low self-esteem. In fact, swag aims
to correct the false notion that illiteracy is an element of hip-hop. It cannot
be measured in units or counted in currency. Only felt.
Written by: Zane Meslani
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