What does the South African youth
think about interracial relationships in the post-Apartheid era?
“RT @Anonymous: No self-respecting white man would
date a black woman.” – 29 August 2012
This year marks South Africa’s 18th year of
freedom and democracy, as the country is legally unchained from the racial
oppression that occurred during the Apartheid era. Laws banning interracial
relationships and marriage have long since been eradicated, and South Africa’s
youth, the “born-frees”, have been able to enjoy a society were interracial
love is not against the law. But behind South Africa’s institutionalised
ideology of non-racialism and multicultural diversity lies the subtle yet
undeniable and enduring undercurrent of racialism, perpetuated by the older
generation, whom grew up in the racially segregated and intolerant Apartheid
climate.
How much of older South African generations’ prejudices have
rubbed off on our youth? Are interracial relationships amongst the youth
becoming more tolerated, or is racial intolerance still an issue? I spoke to
two interracial couples, all 20 year old students, to hear about their experiences
of being together. Thando* is a Xhosa man and Megan* is Coloured with Indian
heritage. Both come from liberal homes, and their parents are supportive of
their relationship.
But not all young interracial couples have been so lucky.
During their now-ended relationship, Sbu* and Ann* had to face huge obstacles
due to their different races, and in the end were forced to part ways because
of familial pressures.“When I told my mother about Sbu the first thing she told
me was not to sleep with him, implying that black people may have AIDS. My dad
compared the fact that I was dating a black
guy with being a lesbian and told me that I was looking for trouble.”
Older generations’ prejudices and intolerance, it seems, is
the biggest issue when it comes to young interracial relationships in South
Africa. Both couples expressed their lament at the disapproval that they have
all experienced from older people across the race spectrum, both family and
strangers. Sbu admits that although his family does not have a problem with him
dating outside of his race, they often tell him that it is just a passing
phase. The older members of Megan’s Indian half of the family are also not
completely racially tolerant, and Thando admits that some family members may
have a problem with the fact that there are Indians in Megan’s family.
Perhaps the most disconcerting part of it all is that, while
prejudices and disapproval from older generations is the most prevalent, there
are many young South Africans that think that dating outside of one’s race is
wrong, or repulsive. Megan tells a worrying tale of how some of her white
Afrikaans friends would use the “k-word” and express disgust at interracial
relationships. Ann too lost a few male friends, who had trouble understanding
and accepting her relationship with a black person. Sbu speaks about how his
white peers do not agree with or approve of black men dating white women.
It is generally accepted that this intolerance amongst the
youth is a result of being influenced by the social norms and family values
that children are taught during their upbringing in the extremely
racially-aware South African society. There are, however, some young South
Africans who base their aversion to interracial relationships on their own
perceptions. Thandile* is one such young woman whom, despite an extremely
liberal upbringing, finds interracial relationships in South Africa problematic
because of the loss of African culture that
occurs, asserting that “this world has been constructed on the fact that
“you’re darker than me so you’re less than me” and that has been perpetuated.”
This social construct, Thandile says, affects interracial relationships and
causes a loss of black culture andAfricanness.
Ann unknowingly proves that Thandile’s argument holds
water, as she asserts that the fact that Sbu is a “westernised”,
non-traditional and private school-educated black man is mostly why she
considered dating him. To a certain extent Sbu recognises that there is some
truth in Thandile’s sentiments, although he is hesitant to fully agree. “If
there was an average white girl and an average black girl, my friends and I
agreed that we would all go for the white girl. And it’s like, why? We don’t
even know why. It may be a matter of pride.”
So what does this say about the youth’s stance on
interracial relationships in South Africa? Megan and Ann, much like Thandile,
doubt that there will be many changes in the public’s frame-of-mind anytime
soon, although they do feel that the youth are a bit more open-minded and are
beginning to formulate their own ideas and opinions. Thando and
Sbu are much more optimistic about the future. Although they assert that we
have a long way to go, they both envision the future South Africa as a more
mixed, tolerant and colour-blind nation.
Perhaps this is possible and plausible, perhaps not. With
young couples who are thriving through the adversity such as Megan and Thando,
however, there is a glimmer of hope.
*names have been changed
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